I am going to be posting sermon notes from a break out session I preached at a men’s retreat this past weekend. They will be broken up into three posts and I will post one a day for the next three days. Here is the intro, observations, and a few questions to stir your heart and to get you to begin thinking about what you desire from sex (or the viewing of sexual images):
Intro: Pornography. Sexual Sin. This is a universal struggle, and it’s OK to be open about it. It’s OK not to be OK. So, as I get into this message, my prayer is that all of you would have an honest assessment of what kind of man you are. We don’t need pretenders here. We can’t afford that. We can’t afford that because we read this about sexual sin in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8:
1 Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
Paul says in this passage at the end, that to disregard being pure with your body (not desiring “pure sex” the way God intended it) is not to disregard man, but God Himself, who is an “avenger in all these things”. This is a solemn (or serious) warning from God Himself. We cannot afford to be pretenders!
We need real men who are honest with who they are in action, in thoughts, and in word. So be real with yourself. Take an honest inventory of the kind of man that you are when you’re alone and you know no one is watching. That’s who you really are. That’s your current character. You will never experience victory as long as you keep flattering yourself about how good you are or that behind all the mess you are really ok…. so be real with the kind of man that you are. OK? OK!
Observation: It seems as if, because of the amount of sexual sin among believers and non-believers alike, we believe that our lives would be better because of sex, or some form of it.
Questions for you to take some time to answer for yourself:
1. Is life simply a case of accumulating orgasms, or partners, or feelings of belonging or acceptance through sexual gratification?
2. What do we really want from sex/porn?
3. Could it be that the answer is nudity?
4. Is it possible that what we really want is a relationship, not simply of physical nakedness and pleasure, but of deep personal nakedness as well?
5. Is it that we want someone who will accept us and love us and desire us as we are?
6. Do we want a relationship of honesty & love, where satisfying sex springs not only from a deep acceptance of each other, but an ongoing desire to please one another?
7. Are we running to illicit sex because we ourselves are so unhealthy and don’t believe the gospel of Jesus? Or we don’t get the gospel? Or are we too lazy?
8. Aren’t we completely accepted by the God who created the heavens and earth?Aren’t we completely exposed by God? So why are we afraid to give what it takes to experience “pure sex”, the way God intended it to be?
Those who don’t desire this: If you don’t want this kind of sex, and enjoy your cheap thrills with no attachment, no mental engagement, no relational cost to you; I want to ask you, where is the fear of the Lord in your life? You reverence yourself and your pleasure and you mock God and His mighty power and authority!
If this is you, confess your God neglect to the Lord and then tell your pastor so he can protect you and others in the church from you as you grow in the fear of the Lord. Then have him help you get some biblical counseling to help figure out your deep rooted attachment/bonding issues.
Also, we must know this: There is a universe of difference between “knowing of God” and “knowing God”. If you are living in sin and do not see a problem with it, do not assume you are right with God. “4 I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. 5 But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!” Luke 12:4-5.
Those who do desire this: For everyone else, if what I mentioned above describes what you’re longing for, you will not find it in disobedience to God.You will not find it in trying to be free with your sexuality. You will not find it on the internet, the store, or the mechanics bathroom. You will only find this kind of sex in the Bible, as you fear God.
In the next post, we will dive in to God’s Word and unpack His original plan for sex only within marriage, from the beginning.